Week 10: Strong Woman
These are always challenging and this time I think I've already written about the strongest women in my line, at least those I know anything about. I know from the evidence that some of the women who seem a little quieter (not weaker) just didn't leave behind much record of their lives or preferred not to talk about it. My mother, for instance, always insisted that the past was past, it was over, and there was no point in speaking of it. Having had to delve into some medical questions, I can tell you that that is definitely not true!
So, I'm kind of reduced to speaking about myself. Maybe this is cheating a little, but I wish that some of the women in my line had left something behind so I could understand them. This may be my gift to my descendants. I'm not sure I'm strong, just willing to keep moving, but I will let you judge.
Just over fifteen years ago, we lost our son Thomas, a soldier who had been deployed to Iraq with a Stryker Brigade Combat Team from Fort Lewis in Washington state. I laughed when he told me where he'd been posted: it took me 30 years to move to the East Coast and now he was living 30 miles from where I'd gone to high school! He was in Washington state for about a year and a half before his deployment in October of 2004. A few weeks after his unit's arrival in Iraq, Thomas was shot and killed by a sniper in Mosul.
Somewhat to my surprise, I lived through the first few days after his death. A week later, we had a wake/viewing at our church and hundreds of people came. For four hours, I greeted people, accepted condolences, and tried to comfort those who couldn't find words. Later, I threw away the suit I had been wearing: too many people had wiped their noses on my shoulder. Afterwards, a friend who had stayed for the entire time told me how strong I looked (I reminded her of Jackie Kennedy after JFK's death which seemed a little over the top). I stayed calm through the funeral, and tried to stay ….dignified. Thomas had always been quite reserved and to honor him I made an effort to maintain that dignity.
In the years since then, I've met a large number of other Gold Star Mothers. They are the strongest women I know. We stand together, we hold each other up, and we have a place in history. Now this is part of my family's history too.
So, I'm kind of reduced to speaking about myself. Maybe this is cheating a little, but I wish that some of the women in my line had left something behind so I could understand them. This may be my gift to my descendants. I'm not sure I'm strong, just willing to keep moving, but I will let you judge.
Just over fifteen years ago, we lost our son Thomas, a soldier who had been deployed to Iraq with a Stryker Brigade Combat Team from Fort Lewis in Washington state. I laughed when he told me where he'd been posted: it took me 30 years to move to the East Coast and now he was living 30 miles from where I'd gone to high school! He was in Washington state for about a year and a half before his deployment in October of 2004. A few weeks after his unit's arrival in Iraq, Thomas was shot and killed by a sniper in Mosul.
Somewhat to my surprise, I lived through the first few days after his death. A week later, we had a wake/viewing at our church and hundreds of people came. For four hours, I greeted people, accepted condolences, and tried to comfort those who couldn't find words. Later, I threw away the suit I had been wearing: too many people had wiped their noses on my shoulder. Afterwards, a friend who had stayed for the entire time told me how strong I looked (I reminded her of Jackie Kennedy after JFK's death which seemed a little over the top). I stayed calm through the funeral, and tried to stay ….dignified. Thomas had always been quite reserved and to honor him I made an effort to maintain that dignity.
In the years since then, I've met a large number of other Gold Star Mothers. They are the strongest women I know. We stand together, we hold each other up, and we have a place in history. Now this is part of my family's history too.
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